Family & Ancestral Healing
Family and ancestral healing gives us the opportunity to address our daily challenges by looking at them through our family lens. If someone in our family before us has had unresolved trauma it tends to sit in the metamorphic field. This field might be compared to an energetic grid. This energetic tension can be picked up by a family member that follows behind the traumatized one in a later generation. Out of an unconscious loyalty of love to their family member the unsuspecting younger one tries to relieve the burden for the parent or ancestor by carrying the pain for them.
Here is a brilliant conversation describing Family and ancestral healing or 'family constellation work' as described by the developer, Bert Hellinger. In this interview Hellinger describes the work as it is done in a group setting. This work can also be done in an individual setting using objects to represent the family members instead of people because the work is phenomenological.
This work may help shed light on unconscious patterns in your family system and it may help you bring resolution to challenges in your life such as loss of love or connection with others, trouble with finances, health problems, addictions or feeling guilty or ashamed.
WHAT IS IT?
Family and Ancestral Healing, also known as Family Systemic Constellation Work
Family and Ancestral Healing lets us heal on a soul level by acknowledging everyone in the family. A misbehaved grandfather, an abusive father or a cheating and disappearing mother all need a place in our thoughts and hearts. If these beings are continually rejected, this rejection tends to haunt the family & our lives.
This work lets us view the perpetrators, those who left the family, the victims of mistreatment and those who harmed us from a new lens. Family secrets are spoken and felt which brings healing. When these things are not spoken of, the wounds can fester and perpetuate more confusion within the energetic system we are born into. We are able to provide elasticity in our family system by using compassionate statements about the trauma and pain we carry.
The strongest mental state we can hold relative to our mother and father is thanking them in our hearts for everything they gave us and everything they did not. Being a "yes" to your full experience of them even if it was horrible is the key to moving forward. This is not always easy and it is not about forgiving them, this is about making our own peace. If we are not connected to our lineage energetically, we will struggle to find our power and success in life. We repeatedly see in this work that if our love for our mother and father is hidden or buried, we will unconsciously marginalize our own life in some way to honour our connection with them. Sometimes, we are merged with a parent or identify with an ancestor so we suffer for them in an unconscious attempt to bring ease to the system, denying ourselves the fulness of life. Family and Ancestral Healing work lets us see it, feel it and reframe it so we can live happier lives.
Thomas Miller puts years of anxiety to rest with a powerful experience with Family and Ancestral Healing.
It is not the goal to resolve all entanglements to in the sense of getting rid of them, rather it’s about resolving them in a way that one feels more bonded, part of something greater, not less. And in that boundedness one feels more bonded, part of something greater, not less. And in that bondedness one can look at the various fates in one’s family system; and as I consent to them a very different kind of strength flows into me.
That’s very different from trying to get rid of everything. The person who gets rid of everything is left with nothing. An entanglement doesn’t actually become resolved by getting rid of it. Entanglement has something to do with bondedness. For example, if someone has not been honored, the resolution occurs by giving this person a place in my heart. Now they are in my heart with their fate. I haven’t gotten rid of them, I haven’t let go of them, rather I have integrated them, and doing that I am enriched.
I bid farewell to the dead and to the perpetrators. They are entitled, as we are, to have even the worst things come to an end eventually. Then we, too, can deal with their history as Lot dealt with Sodom, leaving it behind without looking back. But, as Jacob who, crossing the Jabbok, couldn't leave his accompanying angel without a blessing, we too can only leave the dead when we have acknowledged them and received their blessing. Then they pull back quietly, and although we are marked by the encounter, we are free to move on over the river that separates us from them for a while longer. - Bert Hellinger, Epilogue to “Farewell: Family and Ancestral Healing with Descendants of Victims and Perpetrators.”
"Bev provided a comfortable and safe space to drop in to what needed to be attended to. She was so patient and present. Her energy is warm and kind. I got so many deep gems from my session that I was surprised to receive. She is one of a kind and is worth the investment in yourself to discover and heal the deep parts of you! Thank you Bev! Blessings."
"Bev offers a gentle, warm and compassionate container that’s able to hold the whole of our experience - this slowing down and staying present to each part of our experience, that Bev is able to offer, allows for real change to occur on an embodied level. I highly recommend working with Bev - her relational presence is incredibly healing."
I grew up in a traumatised state, and now see my dad’s trauma which was transferred to me, as HIS issue. Now I have much more understanding of him, which for me facilitated forgiveness of his actions, for me experiencing a near-death experience at age 2 1/2. I am also aware that I also have some ancestral and family healing yet to do, as well as pre- and perinatal aspects.