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Diving beneath judgments and appearances.


Judgements can lie in our family system. The family system might be described as an energetic grid that we are all born into. Our family system has a consciousness or a code that the members tend to abide by. Most families have trauma somewhere that has been unresolved and someone in the family will try to atone for a misdeed of another or suffer the same way another did out of a sense of a loving obligation. Doing this keeps a homeostasis in the system. It keep us all glued together. If someone committed a crime against another person, they more than likely will be excluded from the family by one or more of the members. A younger person comes along and might do the same thing so they too will have to suffer by going to jail for example and the first one won't have to suffer alone or perhaps they won't let themselves live a full life by sacrificing their happiness for that one. The latter suffer in the memory of the earlier ones. Maybe they'll suffer financially or they won't let themselves reach their full potential by living on the street or being stuck in addiction. Perhaps they won't let themselves marry or have a family. No matter how it plays out it comes from a judgement because we don't recognize that these people are doing their best to keep a balance in the family system where someone suffered before them. This pattern can keep repeating until someone identifies the pain and accepts that this behaviour is a result of a deep loyalty to the family system. It's difficult to think that deeds that cause pain to another can come from a deep connection to an ancestor but this is what happens. Once these things are seen through the family and ancestral lens we can be free to live our own lives with out judgement and accept our family as they are. It doesn't mean that hurtful actions are condoned and the person who committed them shouldn't pay some kind of price. What it means is that once their motivation to support the family system is recognized, the family system gets some elasticity and everyone can move and breathe easier.

I work in private sessions in person, by zoom, messenger or phone. Go to the workshop page on my site to learn more group sessions. In group work, someone comes with an intention to change something in their lives and the rest of the group works to support the movement by representing family dynamics. I'm always here to answer your questions in the meantime. Ciao, Bev

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