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Do the words 'relaxed' and 'confident' belong in the same sentence?


What does integration mean? How do we integrate?

We integrate by feeling what arises in our body when we're having experiences. What happens if someone road rages on you? Where do you feel it? There is always the whole thing about how something makes you feel but just as importantly, what you feel cannot be ignored.

Often, the feeling is uncomfortable and without having someone to help us stay in our body, our natural inclination might be to abandon the situation by freezing, fighting, or fleeing or fawning. We're doing more than abandoning the situation, we're actually abandoning ourselves because somewhere in our development we had to rely on our primitive instincts, As a result we trust these imprinted patterns since they kept us safe before.

We can integrate those experiences by revisiting them with someone we trust. We just have to stay long enough to feel the connection between our thoughts and physical sensations. Once we do that, we are building new neural pathways and have the confidence to hold ourselves steady when the same kind of situation arises again.

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