Ohhh, our poor hearts. They have all those unconscious compensation patterns working away under there. For some of us the pattern might be something like, 'I love you but I need space'. That's confusing for our partner when we send the message of 'come closer, now go away'. Or for others of us it's, 'I don't need anyone. I am an island unto my myself.' That can be a really tough one for a partner to contend with. They can wonder why they're even in this thing with this person. It can be really tricky if one person needs closeness and the other one needs space. The demand for attention can feel threatening to the other one. A deep fear might be 'are you mad at me, are you going to leave me' and the other person is feeling,'if you would stop being so needy, everything would be fine. Stop cramping my style'. These dynamics are hard to figure out on our own because they are hard wired right into our nervous systems.
This can be tricky stuff to navigate on our own!