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How to free ourselves from the unseen binds of family trauma.


Judgements can lie in our family system. The family system might be described as an energetic grid that we are all born into. Our family system has a consciousness or a code that the members tend to abide by. Most families have trauma somewhere that has been unresolved and someone in the family will try to atone for a misdeed of another or suffer the same way another did out of a sense of a loving obligation. Doing this keeps a homeostasis in the system. It keep us all glued together. If someone committed a crime against another person, they might be excluded from the family by one or more of the members.


Homeostasis in a family; Example: A younger person comes along and might do the same thing so they too will have to suffer by going to jail. In his heart he feels the first one won't have to suffer alone. Perhaps they won't let themselves live a full life so they sacrifice their happiness for that one. The latter suffer in the memory of the earlier ones. Maybe they'll suffer financially or they won't let themselves reach their full potential by living on the street or being stuck in addiction. Perhaps they won't let themselves marry or have a family. No matter how it plays out it comes from a judgement that tends to perpetuate because we don't recognize that these people are doing their best to keep a balance in the family system where someone suffered before them. This pattern can keep repeating until someone identifies the pain and accepts that this behaviour is a result of a deep loyalty to the family system. It's difficult to think that deeds that cause pain to another can come from a deep connection to an ancestor but this is what happens.


Acceptance and resolution: Once these things are seen through the family and ancestral lens we can be free to live our own lives without judgement and accept our family as they are. It doesn't mean that hurtful actions are condoned and the person who committed them shouldn't pay some kind of price. What it means is that once the person's motivation to support the family system is recognized, the family system gets some elasticity and everyone can move and breathe easier.


I work in private sessions in person, by zoom, messenger or phone.

On January 20 at 7:00 PM MST I will be offering an online, Zoom group workshop. Someone will come with an intention to change something in their lives and the rest of the group will work to support the movement by representing family dynamics.

Do you have a personal challenge you would like to address with the support of others or would you like to be a support person? No experience is needed, only a desire to allow change.

Message me for more details.

Ciao,

Bev

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