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Sometimes we need to give ourselves 'more' than a minute to collect ourselves.




I have spoken quite a bit about 'pauses' here in this group. Today I'm going to talk about what a 'pause' consists of. There are times when we know without doubt we need a pause. We might have just gotten back from the gym or cleaned the house or we might be looking after children. We may have just buried a loved one and need some time to regroup. The need for these pauses are typically obvious. I'm going to give an example of a more subtle but crucial need for a pause. These are the ones that can go un-noticed but really derail us if left unattended.

I had to take my mom to the eye DR. I always feel like I'm going to the 'house of rules' when I go to this clinic. The front desk staff has even made patients cry. Whenever I get there I get nervous because it all goes too fast for me and I feel like I'm going to make a colossal mistake. This is a story of our first visit in our first Covid lockdown. I could feel my nervous system was overwhelmed with all the new rules pasted on the outside door. Mom has mobility challenges and just wants to get in and sit down before she falls down but my brain was having difficulty processing all of this new information. It was already going too fast!

Now here it is, I needed some Time -Bites right there. They're like pauses within pauses. I really needed a few seconds to assess the new 'Covid rule' terrain before I entered. Once we got in, I froze and I couldn't remember my phone number when the assistant asked me for it. The service rep started firing all of these prefixes at me, thinking she was helping. Jeepers, that's like counting over top of someone who is already counting. I held up my hand and I asked her to please just give me a second because I knew I needed a pause. The other staff member rolled her eyes and shook her head at me. It took me a couple of days to fully pull myself back together after calling in support from a couple of friends that gave me some good accurate reflection. Over the next few days I took time to pause and break my pauses down into smaller Time-Bites. I was careful about the calls I answered, I didn't inundate myself with too much information from the media and all the wild emotions people were feeling. I took a lot of Time-Bites inside of my pauses to build new neural pathways so next time I hopefully won't get bulldozed by people that need to go really, really fast. Life does happen fast sometimes. How we recollect ourselves is the work so that we can hold ourselves steadier each time. We have to have our brain and body in sync with each other.

Self care= Pauses and Time-Bites

TIME-BITES can be necessary mini pauses. You might want to watch this for yourself and those around you. Can you tell when a TIME-BITE is required to get back in your body?

I'm always here to help facilitate the places you may have been bulldozed over and help rebuild new neural pathways.

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