Where does the notion even come from that taking care of ourselves first is selfish?
Hint #1: These ideas may live in our family system and we could be entangled with something unresolved in our families history.
Hint #2: This feeling might come from our earliest days in our momma's belly and the first few years of life as we unconsciously molded ourselves to support the others around us. Babies and children, naturally just want to comply as a survival response.
Breaking down these pieces with another person can help us to realize our own self worth deep into the core of our core being.