FAMILY AND ANCESTRAL HEALING WORK
WHAT IS IT?
Family and Ancestral Healing, also known as Family Systemic Constellation Work
Family and Ancestral Healing lets us heal on a soul level by acknowledging everyone in the family. A misbehaved grandfather, an abusive father or a cheating and disappearing mother all need a place in our thoughts and hearts. If these beings are continually rejected, this rejection tends to haunt the family & our lives.
This work lets us view the perpetrators, those who left the family, the victims of mistreatment and those who harmed us from a new lens. Family secrets are spoken and felt which brings healing. When these things are not spoken of, the wounds can fester and perpetuate more confusion within the energetic system we are born into. We are able to provide elasticity in our family system by using compassionate statements about the trauma and pain we carry.
The strongest mental state we can hold relative to our mother and father is thanking them in our hearts for everything they gave us and everything they did not. Being a "yes" to your full experience of them even if it was horrible is the key to moving forward. This is not always easy and it is not about forgiving them, this is about making our own peace. If we are not connected to our lineage energetically, we will struggle to find our power and success in life. We repeatedly see in this work that if our love for our mother and father is hidden or buried, we will unconsciously marginalize our own life in some way to honour our connection with them. Sometimes, we are merged with a parent or identify with an ancestor so we suffer for them in an unconscious attempt to bring ease to the system, denying ourselves the fulness of life. Family and Ancestral Healing work lets us see it, feel it and reframe it so we can live happier lives.
It is not the goal to resolve all entanglements to in the sense of getting rid of them, rather it’s about resolving them in a way that one feels more bonded, part of something greater, not less. And in that boundedness one feels more bonded, part of something greater, not less. And in that bondedness one can look at the various fates in one’s family system; and as I consent to them a very different kind of strength flows into me.
That’s very different from trying to get rid of everything. The person who gets rid of everything is left with nothing. An entanglement doesn’t actually become resolved by getting rid of it. Entanglement has something to do with bondedness. For example, if someone has not been honored, the resolution occurs by giving this person a place in my heart. Now they are in my heart with their fate. I haven’t gotten rid of them, I haven’t let go of them, rather I have integrated them, and doing that I am enriched.
I bid farewell to the dead and to the perpetrators. They are entitled, as we are, to have even the worst things come to an end eventually. Then we, too, can deal with their history as Lot dealt with Sodom, leaving it behind without looking back. But, as Jacob who, crossing the Jabbok, couldn't leave his accompanying angel without a blessing, we too can only leave the dead when we have acknowledged them and received their blessing. Then they pull back quietly, and although we are marked by the encounter, we are free to move on over the river that separates us from them for a while longer. - Bert Hellinger, Epilogue to “Farewell: Family and Ancestral Healing with Descendants of Victims and Perpetrators.”
WHAT PEOPLE SAY
“Something happens to them, where this new experience that was brought to them though the constellation work goes into their system and into their psyches and into their imprints and you can feel something gets re-arranged and there is a settling in who they are."
Dr Nancy Greenfield PHD
A woman worked in a family medicine clinic where there were a number of elderly people in the group. Family and Ancestral Healing work was introduced into the program and after about 3 years the clinic noticed that the elderly participants had less and less medical appointments.
“Entanglements can be dissolved if there is one person within the family who has the freedom to contain what’s there.”